Self-Help

All forms of child abuse interfere with the healthy and creative functioning of the child. Abuse of any kind handicaps the individual in one or more important areas of development, while at the same time, over emphasizes attributes that properly belong to other areas of psychic unfoldment. It is absolutely impossible for the primary form of abuse, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, sexual or interpersonal–not to inhibit functioning in other areas of the child’s life. Abused children have the highest rates of developmental problems, incidents of juvenile delinquent behavior, and, as adults, show the highest incidence of addictions. The latter include addiction to food, alcohol, sex and drugs. They also have the highest rate of psychopathological disturbances, in addition to exhibiting the highest rate of criminal behavior. And not surprisingly, they also have the highest probability of becoming child abusers themselves. We as a society have agreed–at least in a public way–that physical and sexual abuse must cease. But in fact, we have not yet identified or recognized that abuse designed to cause fear and pain by threatening the withdrawal of love, is often much, much more devastating. Why have we failed in this recognition? Because it is so common. Parents who use the withdrawal of love and support in coercing a child into “behaving,” are committing child abuse.